Alright, folks. We've rounded up our 10 most hated wedding trends that need to just simply die and they're not what you think they are.
1. Allowing someone's opinion to sway your decisions.
This day is about you and your fiance. That is all.
Don't let the opinions of some hateful mouth-breather come between you and the wedding you and your fiance want! So what if the blogosphere has declared war on something you really love? Next week they'll find something else to hate, and your so-called basic hipster wedding that they hate right now will suddenly become trendy again.
If you love craft beer, or want ice cream sandwiches instead of a cake, do it! If you want a steampunk, funkalicious anti-wedding, have it! You want fire throwers or a tattoo artist at your reception? Go for it! Do you embrace your PSL-loving, UGG wearing "basic" side and its all-things-fall-loving gloriousness?
First of all, whoever coined the term "basic" as an insult is an asshole. Second, get you a pumpkin spice latte bar, served in mason jars, wrapped in burlap if that's what you want. But please, don't actually do that because it sounds really messy to have drunks people wielding ladles, scooping their own coffee into jars at a wedding.
I know it can be especially hard if you're fighting a parent or a sibling over your choices, especially if the things you want are nontraditional or completely break with the expected wedding "norms". But I can promise you -from my own firsthand experience- YOU WILL REGRET GIVING UP WHAT YOU WANT JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE FINDS IT WEIRD. I promise that you'll cringe with regret every single time you look at your wedding photos and wish you'd just stuck to your guns and worn that blue wedding gown or had pies instead of a cake.
Life is too short not to eat pie or wear a blue wedding gown, y'all.
2. going into debt to pay for the wedding
This should really be a no-brainer, but sadly it is not. If you have to take out a loan or put yourself in debt to pay for an extravigant wedding, please take a step back and try to reevaluate your priorities. Do you really want to start your new married life together in debt?
And don't you DARE start a crowd-funding campaign to make other people pay for your wedding.
3. Having unnecessary plastic surgery to "look your best" for the wedding day.
First of all, you're already perfect. Second, are you fucking kidding me? When did this become a thing?! Third, tell me who said you're not a freaking goddess and I will whoop their behind.
HOWEVER, if you personally want to have some work done because that is YOUR heart's desire and you're doing it for YOU, then I got your back.
4. Going "Venue Poor".
Venue Poor - when you've blown a big ass iceberg sized hole in your budget on a venue that's waaaaaaay outside what you can afford and now you don't have shit left to pay for the rest of the wedding.
Yeah, your venue is gonna be super pretty...but that's about it. It's also gonna be pretty empty because you couldn't afford decent rentals, you're stuck with a Craigslist photographer, you're making your guests pay for their own drinks with a cash bar (CRINGE), Bojangles is catering and your decor came from Walmart, all because you didn't read the fine print before signing a contract.
5. An obscene amount of bridesmaids/groomsmen.
Child, you don't need no 23 people in the damn wedding party.
6. Unrealistic budget expectations.
I'm looking right at you, Pinterest, and your punk behinds over at BRIDES, Wedding Wire and all those janky Facebook groups. They're like the Four Horsemen of the Wedding Apocalypse spreading lies, misinformation, #fakenews and contributing to the overall demise of realistic budget expectations. Come at me, bro.
No, you cannot host a lavish, luxury wedding for 150+ guests for less than $10,000 and no amount of "negotiating" is gonna change that. You can't walk into Louis Vuitton and start haggling with them like an old fishwife. You can't expect to buy a brand new Maserati for the same price as a beat up Yugo. Why? Because that isn't a thing.
Nobody is trying to take advantage of you by charging what they charge. You already know you're not going to get a one-of-a-kind couture gown from David's Bridal, so why would you expect to get high-end custom floral designs for a bargain basement price?
And to all of y'all past brides blowing up the comments on Facebook groups: Stop it. Stop telling people how you got married at Maw Maw's farm and only spent $2500, because, honey, honeeeyyyyyyy, your wedding was a BYOB with a pig roast and an iPod playlist. And there's nothing wrong with that, but you're not comparing apples to apples.
Finally, 75% of the pics on Pinterest are from styled shoots. What's that, you ask? A styled shoot is when a bunch of vendors get together and basically play with some sort of over the top design concept, hire models, pimp out an insane venue and spend hours, nay, sometimes a few DAYS, to get those incredible Pinteresty shots you love so much. NONE of the photos are DIY weddings.
Honestly the starting tag would be about $200,000+ to turn one of those incredible over-the-top styled shoots into a real wedding. So I hope you're a Kardashian or marrying the heir to a Saudi oil field. Sorry, not sorry.
7. Lying to your wedding vendors.
Seriously, there's some trash advice floating around the internet advising engaged couples to lie to their wedding vendors and NOT tell them its a wedding. Why would they say to do that?! To {insert bullshit cough here} save money.
YES, having a wedding will cost more than throwing a birthday party. Why? BECAUSE IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN A BIRTHDAY PARTY. More time planning, more attention to detail, more staffing, more EVERYTHING. So do NOT lie to any of your vendors.
8. Wasting money on stuff that doesn't matter if you can't afford it.
Aisle runners. Over the top escort cards (unless people can keep them!). Useless favors. Can I eat/drink it? Will it help a hangover? If not, then skip it. Throwaway cameras on guest tables. Custom cocktail napkins. Bathroom kits for guests. Flip flops by the dance floor. Trust me, nobody cares and most of it will go into the garbage.
However, if you have the budget for frivolities, please spend it supporting local small businesses.
9. Cheaping out on the stuff that matters.
NEVER skimp on photography, food or music. Those 3 things are the keys to a successful event with memories that will last a lifetime.
Your photographer is the only person who will be able to capture every single moment from your wedding day. Oftentimes, the entire day happens in a flash and before you know it, its all over! But a great photographer will be able to document all those memories for years and years to come. Don't cheap out on that.
Let's talk about the food and (cringe) a cash bar. You don't have to get Surf & Turf for everyone, but you do need to ensure your guests have GOOD food and plenty of it. And if you're making your guests pay for their cocktails simply because you want to save a few bucks, FFS you better put that on the damn invitations.
*Disclaimer- I'm not talking about when weddings are dry for religious reasons! My side eye is directed at the folks who are too cheap to offer a frosty adult beverage to their guests for free*
Cash me outside wit my flask.
Music should simply go without even saying. How many of us have had to suffer through weddings with a terrible DJ or an off-key garage band? If you want to dance floor to stay lit all night long, then you MUST hire professionals capable of doing that.
And if a price seems too good to be true, just remember, you will get what you pay for 9 times out of 10. True story, I knew a bride who hired a Craigslist DJ for her wedding a few years back and not only did he show up for a formal, black tie wedding in jeans and a hula shirt, but all sorts of random people kept showing up throughout the night. Turns out the DJ literally invited his wife, his friends, her friends, random potential couples to all come and enjoy his jams. But he was only $300, so it's cool, right? Shit. You. Not.
10. Doing it for the #gram
If anything you're planning is being done in the hopes of going viral or becoming internet famous, just get out now.
Alright, I've said what I came here to say.