Making your vendors go hungry at your wedding is the wrong way to save money.
Lawdy, lawd, it feels like so many of the wedding blogs and big wedding magazines have just lost their minds with the crazy articles they've been publishing lately. I'm writing this post to answer the ever burning questions about feeding your wedding vendors, and to address a now infamous blog written by a pretty well known wedding planner for Brides Magazine* giving some of the worst advice I've ever read about who should and should not be fed at the wedding.
Inciting the wrath of wedding professionals everywhere, her blog instructed readers to check the vendor's contract ahead of time to see what they were "legally" obligated to provide and, if there was nothing specified she said "Then that's their problem" and they should essentially just starve or pack their own food...seriously? How is it even a question about making sure people working have food to eat? I don't give a fiddler's fart what is stipulated by their contract, feeding your vendor team a hot dang meal should just be common sense by now. But if this notion still seems foreign to ya, enjoy the rest of what I have to say on the subject below. *After enormous backlash from damn near the entire industry they took it off their website, but enjoy this archived copy cuz, just like the North, the Internet remembers!
Let's cover the Who, What, When, Where and Why.
Photo credit: VUE Photography
"Who should we feed?"
We answer this question a lot and more often than not, couples just aren't sure who to include in their headcount. Short answer: any vendor who is on site for the duration of the wedding should be fed a hot meal. That means you feed:
the wedding planner and their team,
the photographer and their assistants,
the DJ or the band,
the videographer,
the people working the photo booth,
is hair/makeup staying to keep you looking fresh? is there live entertainment like dancers or cigar rollers? a fabulous henna artist painting hands and feet all night? anyone staying for the duration of your wedding should be on the list for meals.
"OK, but what should I feed them? This article I read on {insert bullshit blog/website here} said I can save a bunch of cash by feeding the vendors boxed meals."
In case you missed it earlier, I'm gonna put a whole lot of emphasis on hot meal. Give your vendors the energy boost they need to finish the day as strong as they started! Most of them have been with you since early that morning and will work 10+ hours that day. Show them some love and make sure they've got a hot dinner in front of them when the time comes.
Most caterers will serve the same meals to the vendors as the guests are enjoying at a substantially discounted rate (or even free!) since its much easier to make extra than a bunch of separate dinners, and they all understand the importance of not having hangry vendors. But just to be clear, not one of your vendors is expecting you to pay for an extravagant 7 course meal if that's what you're serving your guests. We're happy as clams with a simple piece of grilled chicken, taters and some veggies as long as it's hot!
And "Boxed Vendor Meals" are basically overpriced leftover school lunches - open one up and you'll find a cold pile of bologna miserably smashed between a couple pieces of damp, disgusting fridge-bread (you know the kind I'm talking about: the sammiches that been in the fridge for like 3 days and just soaked up all the sadness and fridge funk in the land), a raggedy bag of mostly crumbled Sun Chips (NOBODY likes Sun Chips even when they're not crushed cuz they is nasty ASF), a banged up piece of fruit and, if we're really lucky, maybe they'll even toss in a stale cookie. Doesn't that sound delish?!
It's true. Ask any vendor that's been in this industry for more than a year and they'll probably have been handed that droopy bag of sadness once or twice. Eww.
"When should they eat? They can eat after the guests get served, right?"
We recommend feeding vendors while the guests are eating. If you're doing stations, vendors should make their plates immediately after the bride & groom and wedding party get theirs. If you're doing a plated dinner, have the wedding planner ask the caterer to have vendor meals ready to roll at the same time they drop plates at guest tables.
Why? Feeding them while the guests are eating means everyone will finish dinner at the same time and your party stays on schedule. If you make them wait until after every guest has been served, there's a good chance dinner will be wrapping up before they've even had a chance to grab their plates and they won't even have time to eat, or they could miss/delay an important moment because they're in the kitchen eating. Even sadder? The kitchen tosses their plates in the trash by accident while they're running back and forth during the reception because they had to wait to eat. Don't turn us into crying James Vanderbeeks. Ain't nobody got time for an ugly-crying James Vanderbeek during your reception.
"Where should they eat?"
The Wedding Planners - we will eat just about anywhere we can hide! We don't need any sort of special accommodations or to be seated at a guest table. All we need is a spot out of the way, hidden from view of the guests, but close enough to the reception to keep an eye on everything. If there is somewhere specific you'd prefer for us to eat, that's amazing and we will love you to pieces, but just pleeeeeease try to make sure it isn't beside a dumpster or a 15 minute walk across the venue (both of those have actually happened!).
Photographers and videographers - plan to seat them at an actual guest table with good visibility of wherever you'll be seated. They can snap some happy candid shots of you lovely newlyweds canoodling, hugs from guests as they pop by to congratulate y'all and there's no chance of them missing anything!
Wedding Bands - they will typically eat in their Green Rooms or dressing rooms. Their requests/requirements will be listed on their Riders or contracts.
DJ, photo booth - they rarely leave their posts, they like to be ready for action!
"Why should I have to pay to feed people I'm already paying? My office doesn't pay for my lunches. Can't they just grab food on their own time or when the wedding ends?"
This is a pretty rare question but we've had to answer it on occasion. First of all, cringe. Would you work on your feet for 10+ hours without food? Nope. And most of the time if you're stuck in a meeting during lunch time, the office brings food in.
Unlike an office job, we can't leave for an hour to run out for a bite. At an office, your work can typically wait for you to take lunch. At a wedding, an hour is everything. Can you imagine waiting an hour for your first dance because the DJ had to leave to find dinner? Or your bustle snaps but the wedding planner is out trying to scrounge up food, so, just hold on til she's back, K? Portraits have to wait while the photographer hits the closest drive thru. You catch my drift, right?
Secondly, our night isn't over the second the wedding ends. Although the reception itself ended around 10 PM there is still a ton of work that must be done before we all leave. We still have to break everything down, make sure your mom gets the leftover cake, your gifts and personal items, supervise clean up and more. Not to mention as planners we are the very last to leave; we stick around until every vendor has returned to pick up their florals, rentals, lighting, draping, etc. So by the time we actually walk out of the venue and our day has "ended" it's usually pushing midnight or later, and that's only if the reception ends on time! And, honey, as my Nonna used to say, nothing good happens after midnight...least of all food. Nobody needs to scarf down Taco Hell on an empty stomach after spending 12+ hours working on their feet.
Bottom line, folks.
Feed the people making magic for you on your Big Day. But if it truly comes down to saving a buck or you feel that strongly about making them fend for themselves, let it be known from the very first meeting so we can all head straight for the exit door. And may the odds be ever in your favor if you decide to surprise everyone and make your vendors go hangry.